5 months...

It's been 5 months ago about now, since my Dad went! I love and miss him so terribly!! I think about him all the time! I know he wouldn't want me to cry or be sad, but it's so hard! I just want him here!! I want to talk to him, laugh with him, go work on things with him, hug him, and tell him how much I love him and how proud I am of him!! Always have, always will, for all time and eternity!!

I'd give anything for him to be here with all of us. If only... I need to stop doing that! Ya know, doing the if only, what ifs, could ofs, would ofs. But I can't help it. I need my Dad so much!! I've been putting on a brave face all the time, and I just wanna cry and break things. This shouldn't of happened, not this soon. He was way too young. It's not fair!!

Why can't I just go to bed and wake up and all of this was a dream?!? I wish so very much it was. Than we could of changed the outcome. I was so very close to my Dad! We'd do so much together! I was always wanting to help him work on things just so he wouldn't have to do it by himself.

I'm just so thankful though that I did get to spend so much time alone with my Dad, doing all kinds of things! That will be forever with me!!

Love you so very much Dad, for Two Eternities!!

(That was his and my saying to each other, he'd say " I love you for an eternity" and I'd say " I love you for two eternities." I miss that so very much!!)