It's been almost a month since my Dad passed away. In a week it will be a month. I just still can't believe this has happened. I don't understand why God had to take my Dad. Dad was our rock, the one that kept everything/everyone together. He made sure everything was taken care of, he always knew how to make us laugh when we needed it. When we'd have doubts about anything, he was there to make sure we knew how special and proud he was of us. When we needed help on something, if something was broke, we'd ask Dad to help us fix it, not just with things, but what problems. He was always there no matter what. It's like, now... who do we go to now? We needed him! I can't help be think about when I get a serious bf, who's gonna scare him with saying like " Take good care of my daughter, if you hurt her, I'm gonna break your knee caps" or what not or when I get engaged, my fiance wont be able to go up to my Dad and ask permission or how he's not gonna be around to walk me down the isle, or be around to see his first grandchild, and be there and do things grandpa's do. My Dad's Gone! And there's nothing I can do to fix it, change it. This is ridiculous!!! He can't be gone. There's too much still left in life for him to experience. This isn't fair. I hate this. With my Grandma H. or my Grandpa W. you'd expect them to pass on cuz of their really bad health, but with my Dad... it was unexpected. His health wasn't so good, but you wouldn't expect him to pass on. This is stupid!! But yet I'm pass the point of just sitting on the couch or in my bed thinking it's just a dream, because it's not. It's a reality nightmare that no person on earth can fix or wake you up from and tell you it's okay, because for one, it's real and you won't ever be okay again. The pain will get a little bit easier, but it will always be there. It won't be normal again. I just wish I would of been able to of let my Dad know how much I was so very proud of him. I would of told him that I know that he does the best that he can for his family every single day, and I know that it's not easy cause of his health, but that I was so proud of him for not just making sure his family was provided for but for being my Dad. There is a poem I found on the computer that I wrote down in a Fathers Day card last yr. This is what it said...
Happy Fathers Day
A Dad is a person
who is loving and kind,
And often he knows
what you have on your mind.
He's someone who listens,
suggests, and defends.
A dad can be one
of your very best friends!
He's proud of your triumphs,
but when things go wrong,
A dad can be patient
and helpful and strong
In all that you do,
a dad's love plays a part.
There's always a place for him
deep in your heart.
And each year that passes,
you're even more glad,
More grateful and proud
just to call him your dad!
Than I had the Superman symbol underneath, but instead of Superman, it said Superdad. He was a Superman. My Superdad. My Hero! He was the best Dad any family could have had. I know a lot of people say that, but he really was. I couldn't have asked for any man better to be my Dad. There's no man on the entire earth that could even take the place of my Dad even a fraction of a little bit.
There's a locket that I have that I got for my 19th birthday. I am planning on putting a pic of my Dad in there. That way I can always have him close to my heart ALWAYS!!
My Dad and I always had a saying we'd say to each other all the time. He'd say " I love you for an eternity " than I'd say " Love you for two eternities ". I'm gonna miss that so much.
LOVE YOU FOR TWO ETERNITIES DAD!!!!!
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